Wow! I am almost done with my time here in Boone. At Appalachian State University. As a student. As a dependent ( haha, s/o to my parents). As ready as I try to make myself feel, I am not. I am scared to leave a place I have grown to be comfortable in. As I am writing this, my final blog post, it feels bittersweet. I loved writing these over the year. Exploring new texts and writing strategies. Even learning to love poetry after years of never wanting to touch a poem. People change and so did I. Whether that be as a student, person, daughter, friend. I am always changing.
I am almost 23 years old. I am graduating from Appalachian State University, for the second time, with a Master’s Degree in Reading Education. If I told my high school self that this is what I would be doing, I would NEVER believe it. When I graduated high school I never had a dream college, I just went to the one my friends were going to. I had no idea what I wanted to do and I never thought about getting my Master’s. In high school I never thought of myself as someone who was smart or could succeed highly. Now, I have a 4.0 in graduate school! I am beyond pleased and proud of who I have become. I wish I could go back to my younger self and just show myself I can do it! I can set out and do almost anything!
A poem I find myself thinking about everytime April rolls around, the dreaded transitional period, is a poem by Morgan Harper-Nichols. This poem describes how people move on, whether that be to a new place or change as an individual. But, that is okay because people are constantly changing. I have a hard time adjusting to change. It makes me anxious and unsure of how things will unfold. I like consistency because I am able to be comfortable and stick to my routine. But, I am about to move to a new state, where I do not know anyone, start my career, and be an adult. Ya, I am beyond scared! But, this is normal. People move, people change, and that is okay. I have to remind myself that when people are in my situation, they are not feeling 100% confident either. It is always scary, but it will be okay.
I do wish time would slow down! I am moving in less than two months! I can't even wrap my head around that concept. I want to stay in Boone where I can predict how my day will go. I want to stay where it snows one day and then is sunny the next. I want to stay in a place where there are two streets that take you everywhere you need to go. But, I also want change. I want to go to a new place, have new experiences, and push myself outside of my comfort zone. Even if that thought terrifies me, I think I am ready for it.
I decided to write my poems this week in a format I fell in love with this week. I love the concept of short and sweet poems, which is why equation poems or math poems grabbed my attention. You can convey so much into these poems and show emotion throughout them. The first one I made was depicting how grateful I am for my family. Without their support and love, I am not sure where I would be today. My family means the world to me and have and will always be there for me. My second equation was about my fear of moving to a new state but I am moving with two of my close friends, which makes me feel a little less anxious. Knowing I will have the support of my friends behind me while we all move to a new place is reassuring. My next one is about the emotions I feel when I think about leaving Boone. I am very sad, but I feel that this chapter in my life is ending and I have to move out of Boone to start my next chapter. The green sweatshirt poem is referring to my moms sorority sweatshirt she had in college. The sweatshirt is old and has stains and holes in it, but I wear it about everyday because it reminds me of her and how she was able to make a lot of changes in her life and is a strong woman who I look up to. The last one is about my blue stuffed dog that I got as a kid that I bet my parents thought I would grow out of, but I did not, and now I still sleep with that same stuffed animal at 23 years old. I had a lot of fun creating these poems!
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